BLAH...boring

Thats what my life is. i try to rack my brain for something to write about and i have absolutly no idea. haha.

hmmm what to talk about what to talk about. Had family day on monday, its a provincial stat. was nice to have an extra day off:). went to see Confessions of a shopaholic for vday, it was good but not as good as the books, are book movies eve as good as the books??? I wish they were cause i loved those books:- so needless to say i was a little disappointed

hmm what else what else. nothing really. hunter is off school this week. him and his nana have been spending some time together. She took h im to the museum yesterday, he enjoyed that there are dinosaurs and stuff in there.

Oh an update on that friend i was having issues with. I had to break the no talking when my friend was in labor because i had her memory card for her camera and i was at work and couldn't get it to her and she was the only one who doesn't work who could take it, well now she talks to me like nothing is wrong, everythin is al hunky dory. I do now realize what it was in the first place that made me feel not so fondly towards her. Oh well i will keep the peace, zip my lips and just let thins be. so we will see. lol

Well thats it. I will leave you with a picture

Introducing Carson Allan

My best friend finally had her baby. 5 days late but he came and he is perfect!!!! I am absolutly in love. i am so lucky to have such an awesome friend who lets me be such a huge part of there lives. I have a tiny big of jealousy as i wish it where me. but this wya i have th ebest of both worlds, can hold and cuddle and hand over the poop amd the crying and sleep at night. always look at the positive right:D.
I am on cloud nine though. there is nothing better then having a newborn curl up on your chest and do there little stretch and cuddle right in. there is absolutly no better feeling:)
I have a house full of sickies. took hunter to the doc he is on antibiotics. has a throat infection and ear infection, seems to be doing better though. al was home today with what i am guessing the flu. i so cannot get sick. i jsut can't:( i don't have time to be sick. so if i just keep telling myself that maybe it won't happen. LOTS OF HAND WASHING!!!
So its valentines day on sat, what r u doing? i love valentines day. i love being with someone whom i love. i just have no clue what to do. i THINK al is taking me to the shopaholic movie. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the books and am looking forward to the movie. but i would like to do something for al. thought about a picnic in th eliving room..but not sure. we will see how everyone is feeling. what are you doing for your S/O???

Wierd!

The bleeding has stopped, never got too heavy, never got to painful, just a dull constant cramp, very mild compared tot he one mid-late jan. I have been told it is either cysts growing, or cysts breaking. lets hope for the latter. i have a very hard time making myself go to the doctor, so i didn't go. i just plainout hate doctors:(.

i am at a loss with hunter. i cannot handle his whiney crying butt anymore.. and he is rude and mean. he comes to work with me in the mornings...before school. he is MEAN to the kids. Right now he is up in his room writing lines, one-I will behave at daycare two- I will not talk to parents at daycare and i will not throw temer tantrums anymore. we did lines to get him to stop chewing on his glasses and it seemed to work lets hope this works. This morning my second kid of the day arrived as they walked in hunter said argggg you can just go back home, i said waht did you say they can just leave he says. I was livid but i couldn't really do or say anything. and even if i give him crap at daycare he seriously throws a screaming crying fit for an hour and it looks bad, what parent wants to leave there children with someone who can't conrol her own child. He is mean to the other kids, trys to force them to play his way and if they don't he says mean things, he is rough. ugh i don't know what to do with him. he can go for awhile with being good but then it is llike night and day he is rotten rotten rotten. What do i do? we take things away, we ground him. he has now been crying for 40 minutes because he is grounded and probably can't spend the night at his nanas tomorrow because he doesn't deserve any rewards. Any suggestions?
so its kinda scarey al got his t4 today )thats his inome tax form from his job) and between the two of us we made a PILE of money...where the heck has it gone. i do have to leaase out my busniess and pay employees but still after taht we still make alot. i am at a loss from where it has gone. lol.
anyway. thats it for now. any insight you have on my huunter problem let me know

*WARNING* TMI but need opinions

I am a little worried and wondering if anyone could help me out. I would rather find some answer before going to a doc, becuase for many reasons i do not like or trust doctors or there opinions.
Some of you may remember that i have PCOS (cysts on my ovaries) i have been trying many years to get pregnant with no avail, been on drugs have had tests so on and o forth. I have anything but a regular cycle. My last period before dec 26th was april 7th. My doc for some reason didn't see a problem with it.
Anyway on dec 26th i got a period wasnt to bad, last bout 6 days, not too heavy or anything. Then on jan 16th i got another period and my goodness it ws something else. i was in incredble amounts of pain, it was VERY VERY heavy, lots of clots, and it lasted 9 days with 8 out of those nine days being incredibly heavy. On jan 25 th it ended finally. well today feb 2nd i am bleeding again. it is BRIGHT red. not like reg period blood, but i am cramping, and very uncomfortable. its not too heavy but you know its there.
WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME. i am worried that there is something horribly wrong? or is it my body trying to be regular. anyone have any idea? i am frustrated, scared, and don't have much faith iin my doctor and am scared to even look for another one.
thanks so much and sorry for the tmi

Tax time SUCKS!!!

most people look forward to tax time. and usaully i do too. well this year i have my own business. and i tell you it sucks:(. trying to keep up with reciepts, payments, incoming and outcoming money. i just don't know if i can do it.i am so overwhelmed. one day at a time i guess. one thing that would make it easier is to be able to do it on my laptop cause that way i could take it and do it at work durig nap time. but i don't have the proper program. ERG. I think i have most of the reciepts tallied up. and all my reciepts organized, now to go through them. then i have to do my employee tax forms that could take a bit. i just feel overwhlemed. lol
I think i hve finally let go of the other problem with the ex friend. and i am ok with it. she actually paid her daycare bill...totally surprised me and everyone else who knew her. she didn't exactly pay me directly, she paid my best friend and got her to give it to me. i don't care at least i got my money and didn't have to take the court route. Work is going alright otherwise
hmm what else. not much i recently got PVR or tivo whichever both the same thing. and i am LOVING it:D. i never miss anything. i can pause it watch it again tape anything and everything:) love it. best decision ever!
I also have a new facebook addiction. BINGO...lol. highly addicting. just do a search for bingo island and come and play. haha.
Well ibelieve that is it:). I hope everyone has an awesome week:D

OMG the pain

After not having a regular period since april of 2008 i have had two in a row. VERY wierd. anyway i had one on dec 26th, wasn't to bad and i started again on friday, so not a long cycle but i hope my body is working itself out and i can be regular and finaly finally after 6.5 LONG years of trying to get pregnant i finally can. heres to hoping anyway
anyway i am in SOOOO much pain this time around, the cramps are unrealy OWIE!!!! I honestly don't miss it but iam very thankful for it.
I am still stressed out nicredibly everything shitty seems to happen at once and i have a VERY hard time dealing. yesterday was one of the worst days i have had in a long time. for no particular reason, jsut because to much is happening to fast. i wish it was easier for me to let things go, i dont know why i hold on to things . i feel everything is my fault,, and i should do something to make it better, and i stress and stress tell i give in and usaully it just bites me in the ass anyway.
Well short and sweet...lol. heres to hoping my best friend has her baby this week, holding a teeny baby would make everything fade away:D
tell next time....

appointment update

Well the trip to the appointment on tuesday was rather interesting. it was a complete white out for the first 45 minutes, couldn't see five feet in front, beside or behind me, but i trudged on. white knuckles, tense shoulders and everything. once it got light out it wasn't so bad. still blowing snow, snow drifts and wind and etreme temps. but i felt i had to make this appointment no matter what it ook. and well we made it. i did get halfway and realized i didn't have my prurse with hunters health card in it. SMART. fortunately we didn't need it haha.
anyway on to the appointment. it was VERY VERY upsetting and frustrating for me:(. we were told about the CT scans from when he was first born and it was nothing like we were told. NOTHING. we were told he had a small bleed at the base of his brain, like a cut. no that is not what he had not in the least. he had a HUGE bleed in the back f his brain almost the size of his back of his head on one side. On top of this he had many tiny pbleeds on the top of his head on both sides. i questioned why...of scourse he didn't have the answers.i just can't fathom y this has been withheld from me:(. why no one told me. the only logical reason is to hide what really went wrong. this bleeding is caused by lack of o2 and blood supply suring delivery. UGH i just want to scream at the health care field.
We were told that this can be related to all the behaviour problems, his learning problems, the reason his eyes went so bad so fast...it can be all related. this is all so frustrating. The doctor wants to do another mri but not tellhe is older, about 12 years old, so he doesn't have to be put under. he says it won't show anything that he doesn't already know.
so i guess thats the appointment in a nutshell:(. not good news. but what can u do but move ahead

Nervous...worried...ugh i hate feelin this way

Lets start with me. yesterday my eye was sore. the eye lid was sore to touch, not sure why. I showed al before the end of the day and he said it looked bruised. well i wake up this morning and it is a huge bruise and swollen. I was scared like WTH. i look under the lid and ther eis a huge lump. as the day went on the sweeling didn't leave. i looked again and it had turned white. so i am guessing it is a sty. i probably need some antibacterial eye gel. but my eye looks horrible and it freaked me right the heck out.

Hunter has an appoitnment with the neaurologist tomorrow. its in saskatoon which is a two hour drive and lets say the weather has not been too nice at all. I am scared we won't be able to get there. we have been waiting for this appointment since april, so we have to go. If it would just stop snowing for ONE day...just one day. we have had more snow so far in jan then the last few years all together. it is nuts. the roads in town are crazy. lets hope the highways aren't as bad. I am not looking forward to the drive, so keep us in your prayers.

Its als birthday on wednesday. he is going to be 32. it is hard to believe imet him when he was 23. where has the time gone. i am at a loss ass what to get him. it is between these things, a new stereo for the bedroom (he listens to it when he goes to bed) a gold membership for the xbox he got for christmas that he will be buying himself if i dont get it, a gaming chair. Or he has a long list of video games and movies that i don't really want to get for him anyway. What would you choose?
I am also having a hard time deciding on something else. I want a treadmill, there is a good one on sale, but i have a feeling it will go on sale more, but then i chance not getting one. It is by far not top of the line but it would work. Or a sliegh bed that we need. We have been sleeping on the floor for far to long and it is wrecking our boxspring. they are both about the same price and i don't know which to choose. Man i am horrible at choosing.
I think all the increased stress is caused by the fall out with the friend i talked about in the previous post. i just wish things didn't end the way they did, but i think it would be a waste of my time to apologize. I don't even know what i would be apologizing for.
I will update about the doc appointment(if we make it) tomorrow.

It's alot of work to be angry!!!

Wow things are TENSE in my parts of the woods! I got into it with a friend of mine the other day. She seriously takes things for granted. She has this amazing ability to make people fear her but when anything is brought up she has this amazing ability to turn it around and make you look and feel like the bad guy. Not sure how much sense that actually makes. I am at a loss as what to do. I have been there whenever she has needed me. she has four children, had the fourth in july. I helped take care of her kids i bought things for her she didn't have when she ahd the baby. I was there at 9 at night when she needed my therometer cause she thought the baby felt a little warm. I was there when she needed me when her husband left because they weren't getting along. I give her a great rate at daycare for her son, who comes at least three full days a week even though she is a stay at home money and they can hardly afford food. I thought i was being a good friend. I honestly thought i was. she informs me it is too bad i turned out to be a crappy friend! I guess because i don't agree to everything she has to say, i am not a good friend.
Here's the issue. I gave notice well over a month ago, and told her before i gave notice that daycare fees were going up. Min wage is going up, food is going up, the general cost of living is going up. Her daily fee went up a whole five dollars a day. Keep in mind i sent this notice out 30+ days before it was to happen. well she informs me on the fifth of this month she can't afford daycare so he won't be coming again. In my contract it states thirty days notice must be given. I was fine with it...its ok if she can't afford it, but i expect respect, the same as i gave respect to her. So i brought up my concerns, that i wasn't upset but i felt disrespected. Of course i am wrong and she isn't disrespectful. so a whole huge arguement ensued and it all boiled down to she is an awesome friend, i am a crappy friend who needs to get off my high horse. It would all be alright but this girl is my best friends sil. I will be running into her, i will hear things about her, she will always be there. and it will be hard. goodness its alot of work i don't really have the time or the energy to do.
What do i do. do i write her a letter saying i am sorry, do i leave it and walk the other way. i am lost. I do want to apologize, but i know she won't see it as an apology so much as a gravel. She is a person it is VERY hard to be friends with. I am ok with not being her friend, but i don't want it to be horrible, tense and bitter everytime we see each other. I guess i want the parting terms to be on a different level...so ya any advice?