most people look forward to tax time. and usaully i do too. well this year i have my own business. and i tell you it sucks:(. trying to keep up with reciepts, payments, incoming and outcoming money. i just don't know if i can do it.i am so overwhelmed. one day at a time i guess. one thing that would make it easier is to be able to do it on my laptop cause that way i could take it and do it at work durig nap time. but i don't have the proper program. ERG. I think i have most of the reciepts tallied up. and all my reciepts organized, now to go through them. then i have to do my employee tax forms that could take a bit. i just feel overwhlemed. lol
I think i hve finally let go of the other problem with the ex friend. and i am ok with it. she actually paid her daycare bill...totally surprised me and everyone else who knew her. she didn't exactly pay me directly, she paid my best friend and got her to give it to me. i don't care at least i got my money and didn't have to take the court route. Work is going alright otherwise
hmm what else. not much i recently got PVR or tivo whichever both the same thing. and i am LOVING it:D. i never miss anything. i can pause it watch it again tape anything and everything:) love it. best decision ever!
I also have a new facebook addiction. BINGO...lol. highly addicting. just do a search for bingo island and come and play. haha.
Well ibelieve that is it:). I hope everyone has an awesome week:D
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
OMG the pain
After not having a regular period since april of 2008 i have had two in a row. VERY wierd. anyway i had one on dec 26th, wasn't to bad and i started again on friday, so not a long cycle but i hope my body is working itself out and i can be regular and finaly finally after 6.5 LONG years of trying to get pregnant i finally can. heres to hoping anyway
anyway i am in SOOOO much pain this time around, the cramps are unrealy OWIE!!!! I honestly don't miss it but iam very thankful for it.
I am still stressed out nicredibly everything shitty seems to happen at once and i have a VERY hard time dealing. yesterday was one of the worst days i have had in a long time. for no particular reason, jsut because to much is happening to fast. i wish it was easier for me to let things go, i dont know why i hold on to things . i feel everything is my fault,, and i should do something to make it better, and i stress and stress tell i give in and usaully it just bites me in the ass anyway.
Well short and sweet...lol. heres to hoping my best friend has her baby this week, holding a teeny baby would make everything fade away:D
tell next time....
anyway i am in SOOOO much pain this time around, the cramps are unrealy OWIE!!!! I honestly don't miss it but iam very thankful for it.
I am still stressed out nicredibly everything shitty seems to happen at once and i have a VERY hard time dealing. yesterday was one of the worst days i have had in a long time. for no particular reason, jsut because to much is happening to fast. i wish it was easier for me to let things go, i dont know why i hold on to things . i feel everything is my fault,, and i should do something to make it better, and i stress and stress tell i give in and usaully it just bites me in the ass anyway.
Well short and sweet...lol. heres to hoping my best friend has her baby this week, holding a teeny baby would make everything fade away:D
tell next time....
Thursday, January 15, 2009
appointment update
Well the trip to the appointment on tuesday was rather interesting. it was a complete white out for the first 45 minutes, couldn't see five feet in front, beside or behind me, but i trudged on. white knuckles, tense shoulders and everything. once it got light out it wasn't so bad. still blowing snow, snow drifts and wind and etreme temps. but i felt i had to make this appointment no matter what it ook. and well we made it. i did get halfway and realized i didn't have my prurse with hunters health card in it. SMART. fortunately we didn't need it haha.
anyway on to the appointment. it was VERY VERY upsetting and frustrating for me:(. we were told about the CT scans from when he was first born and it was nothing like we were told. NOTHING. we were told he had a small bleed at the base of his brain, like a cut. no that is not what he had not in the least. he had a HUGE bleed in the back f his brain almost the size of his back of his head on one side. On top of this he had many tiny pbleeds on the top of his head on both sides. i questioned why...of scourse he didn't have the answers.i just can't fathom y this has been withheld from me:(. why no one told me. the only logical reason is to hide what really went wrong. this bleeding is caused by lack of o2 and blood supply suring delivery. UGH i just want to scream at the health care field.
We were told that this can be related to all the behaviour problems, his learning problems, the reason his eyes went so bad so fast...it can be all related. this is all so frustrating. The doctor wants to do another mri but not tellhe is older, about 12 years old, so he doesn't have to be put under. he says it won't show anything that he doesn't already know.
so i guess thats the appointment in a nutshell:(. not good news. but what can u do but move ahead
anyway on to the appointment. it was VERY VERY upsetting and frustrating for me:(. we were told about the CT scans from when he was first born and it was nothing like we were told. NOTHING. we were told he had a small bleed at the base of his brain, like a cut. no that is not what he had not in the least. he had a HUGE bleed in the back f his brain almost the size of his back of his head on one side. On top of this he had many tiny pbleeds on the top of his head on both sides. i questioned why...of scourse he didn't have the answers.i just can't fathom y this has been withheld from me:(. why no one told me. the only logical reason is to hide what really went wrong. this bleeding is caused by lack of o2 and blood supply suring delivery. UGH i just want to scream at the health care field.
We were told that this can be related to all the behaviour problems, his learning problems, the reason his eyes went so bad so fast...it can be all related. this is all so frustrating. The doctor wants to do another mri but not tellhe is older, about 12 years old, so he doesn't have to be put under. he says it won't show anything that he doesn't already know.
so i guess thats the appointment in a nutshell:(. not good news. but what can u do but move ahead
Monday, January 12, 2009
Nervous...worried...ugh i hate feelin this way
Lets start with me. yesterday my eye was sore. the eye lid was sore to touch, not sure why. I showed al before the end of the day and he said it looked bruised. well i wake up this morning and it is a huge bruise and swollen. I was scared like WTH. i look under the lid and ther eis a huge lump. as the day went on the sweeling didn't leave. i looked again and it had turned white. so i am guessing it is a sty. i probably need some antibacterial eye gel. but my eye looks horrible and it freaked me right the heck out.
Hunter has an appoitnment with the neaurologist tomorrow. its in saskatoon which is a two hour drive and lets say the weather has not been too nice at all. I am scared we won't be able to get there. we have been waiting for this appointment since april, so we have to go. If it would just stop snowing for ONE day...just one day. we have had more snow so far in jan then the last few years all together. it is nuts. the roads in town are crazy. lets hope the highways aren't as bad. I am not looking forward to the drive, so keep us in your prayers.
Its als birthday on wednesday. he is going to be 32. it is hard to believe imet him when he was 23. where has the time gone. i am at a loss ass what to get him. it is between these things, a new stereo for the bedroom (he listens to it when he goes to bed) a gold membership for the xbox he got for christmas that he will be buying himself if i dont get it, a gaming chair. Or he has a long list of video games and movies that i don't really want to get for him anyway. What would you choose?
I am also having a hard time deciding on something else. I want a treadmill, there is a good one on sale, but i have a feeling it will go on sale more, but then i chance not getting one. It is by far not top of the line but it would work. Or a sliegh bed that we need. We have been sleeping on the floor for far to long and it is wrecking our boxspring. they are both about the same price and i don't know which to choose. Man i am horrible at choosing.
I think all the increased stress is caused by the fall out with the friend i talked about in the previous post. i just wish things didn't end the way they did, but i think it would be a waste of my time to apologize. I don't even know what i would be apologizing for.
I will update about the doc appointment(if we make it) tomorrow.
Hunter has an appoitnment with the neaurologist tomorrow. its in saskatoon which is a two hour drive and lets say the weather has not been too nice at all. I am scared we won't be able to get there. we have been waiting for this appointment since april, so we have to go. If it would just stop snowing for ONE day...just one day. we have had more snow so far in jan then the last few years all together. it is nuts. the roads in town are crazy. lets hope the highways aren't as bad. I am not looking forward to the drive, so keep us in your prayers.
Its als birthday on wednesday. he is going to be 32. it is hard to believe imet him when he was 23. where has the time gone. i am at a loss ass what to get him. it is between these things, a new stereo for the bedroom (he listens to it when he goes to bed) a gold membership for the xbox he got for christmas that he will be buying himself if i dont get it, a gaming chair. Or he has a long list of video games and movies that i don't really want to get for him anyway. What would you choose?
I am also having a hard time deciding on something else. I want a treadmill, there is a good one on sale, but i have a feeling it will go on sale more, but then i chance not getting one. It is by far not top of the line but it would work. Or a sliegh bed that we need. We have been sleeping on the floor for far to long and it is wrecking our boxspring. they are both about the same price and i don't know which to choose. Man i am horrible at choosing.
I think all the increased stress is caused by the fall out with the friend i talked about in the previous post. i just wish things didn't end the way they did, but i think it would be a waste of my time to apologize. I don't even know what i would be apologizing for.
I will update about the doc appointment(if we make it) tomorrow.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
It's alot of work to be angry!!!
Wow things are TENSE in my parts of the woods! I got into it with a friend of mine the other day. She seriously takes things for granted. She has this amazing ability to make people fear her but when anything is brought up she has this amazing ability to turn it around and make you look and feel like the bad guy. Not sure how much sense that actually makes. I am at a loss as what to do. I have been there whenever she has needed me. she has four children, had the fourth in july. I helped take care of her kids i bought things for her she didn't have when she ahd the baby. I was there at 9 at night when she needed my therometer cause she thought the baby felt a little warm. I was there when she needed me when her husband left because they weren't getting along. I give her a great rate at daycare for her son, who comes at least three full days a week even though she is a stay at home money and they can hardly afford food. I thought i was being a good friend. I honestly thought i was. she informs me it is too bad i turned out to be a crappy friend! I guess because i don't agree to everything she has to say, i am not a good friend.
Here's the issue. I gave notice well over a month ago, and told her before i gave notice that daycare fees were going up. Min wage is going up, food is going up, the general cost of living is going up. Her daily fee went up a whole five dollars a day. Keep in mind i sent this notice out 30+ days before it was to happen. well she informs me on the fifth of this month she can't afford daycare so he won't be coming again. In my contract it states thirty days notice must be given. I was fine with it...its ok if she can't afford it, but i expect respect, the same as i gave respect to her. So i brought up my concerns, that i wasn't upset but i felt disrespected. Of course i am wrong and she isn't disrespectful. so a whole huge arguement ensued and it all boiled down to she is an awesome friend, i am a crappy friend who needs to get off my high horse. It would all be alright but this girl is my best friends sil. I will be running into her, i will hear things about her, she will always be there. and it will be hard. goodness its alot of work i don't really have the time or the energy to do.
What do i do. do i write her a letter saying i am sorry, do i leave it and walk the other way. i am lost. I do want to apologize, but i know she won't see it as an apology so much as a gravel. She is a person it is VERY hard to be friends with. I am ok with not being her friend, but i don't want it to be horrible, tense and bitter everytime we see each other. I guess i want the parting terms to be on a different level...so ya any advice?
Here's the issue. I gave notice well over a month ago, and told her before i gave notice that daycare fees were going up. Min wage is going up, food is going up, the general cost of living is going up. Her daily fee went up a whole five dollars a day. Keep in mind i sent this notice out 30+ days before it was to happen. well she informs me on the fifth of this month she can't afford daycare so he won't be coming again. In my contract it states thirty days notice must be given. I was fine with it...its ok if she can't afford it, but i expect respect, the same as i gave respect to her. So i brought up my concerns, that i wasn't upset but i felt disrespected. Of course i am wrong and she isn't disrespectful. so a whole huge arguement ensued and it all boiled down to she is an awesome friend, i am a crappy friend who needs to get off my high horse. It would all be alright but this girl is my best friends sil. I will be running into her, i will hear things about her, she will always be there. and it will be hard. goodness its alot of work i don't really have the time or the energy to do.
What do i do. do i write her a letter saying i am sorry, do i leave it and walk the other way. i am lost. I do want to apologize, but i know she won't see it as an apology so much as a gravel. She is a person it is VERY hard to be friends with. I am ok with not being her friend, but i don't want it to be horrible, tense and bitter everytime we see each other. I guess i want the parting terms to be on a different level...so ya any advice?
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